I have a contractor working on my house right now named James. Life is funny...James works for a friend's dad. He is doing some carpentry work and general repairs before we list the house officially. The other day, I was standing in the attic with him, telling him what I want to keep and don't want to keep when we came across a big, grey tub. He said, "You know what's in this one?" I said, "Nope but it's super old." We opened it and it was a huge tub full of my wedding stuff. The wedding planning binder that was 8 inches thick, stuffed with pictures and articles and fabric swatches and advertisements, etc. There was the Guest Book, my dried up, shriveled bouquet. The ring bearer's pillow was in there, baskets I had used, candle sticks for the unity candle, the cloth we used to break the glass, my guest list....it goes on and on. All wrapped up in a perfect tub, sealed and placed in the attic. Right next to my preserved gown. Hmmm. I looked up at James, "Do I keep it?" He looked at me, scratched his head, and said, "I have no idea."
So, James and I started talking. He too is going through a divorce. He is a very philosophical man and questions just about everything concerning love. We stood up there for a while swapping stories. Later that night, he came into the kitchen with a book, The Road Less Traveled by Scott Peck. I have heard of this book but never read it. He told me about different parts and how much it helped him, etc.
I started the book that night and I am finding it very interesting so far. Last night, James came downstairs and I told him all about my relationship woes and how everything had finally ended with the marriage. He could totally relate to all of it. He said, "Love is synonymous with forgiveness." He told me that couples do make it through tough times, even a very bad decision. He told me about another book by CS Lewis about the four loves. He explained to me also that the key, he feels, to a couple being in a successful and happy relationship is them being on the same growth path. You have to constantly grow YOURSELF as well. But if you and your Other are in the same stage of growth in life, you will probably survive.
James is seeing someone he reconnected with from middle school. She lives 1000 miles away. Our lives are so parallel. He is in love. He is trying to figure out how to make it work.
It's things like this that make me believe that people come into your life for a reason. He has given me so much clarity and comfort while working on my house. He is a good soul. He's a deep thinker. He reads endlessly about love and life and how to improve yourself. I now have a long list of books to keep me occupied. My Other is reading The Road Less Traveled with me...it's a beautiful thing to want to grow together.