The Pendulum...

I am looking forward to a nice, long weekend. The girls are with Eric so I am going to try to get caught up on sleep tonight. The boyfriend flies in tomorrow morning so that will hopefully be a nice visit. The distance has been getting the best of us lately so I am hoping we can overcome some of this stuff this weekend. It's not easy to be 1200 miles away from your other.

We have been at a crossroads for a while. Things have been like a pendulum, swinging back and forth, over and over. I have had to really sit down and think about what is important to me, to my kids, to my life. I have been trying to figure out how I can live the best life possible. And he is doing the same. Fate is working against us though it seems...or at least the timing is just really off. So, we just wait and wonder what our future holds. It could be a couple of years before we are able to be in the same city. To do so beforehand would be asking him to give up his dreams and I simply am not willing to do that. My children have their father here so me leaving would never be an option. I would never take that from them nor would Eric let me.

So we stay stuck at this crossroads...not sure of where to go next. Both afraid of holding on,  and of letting go. It's cruel the way the world works at times. You finally find that something you have been looking for and at the exact same moment you find it, all of your other wants and needs are being dangled in front of you. What is the purpose behind that?