Endless supplies...

I woke up this morning to Lily spooning with me and Abby laying across my legs (apparently they were a pillow and my robe was her blanket). The dog was in my face whining. And we were late. Again. I got a few cuddles and got out of bed, reluctantly.

I took my shower while the girls watched some TV in bed. The whole time I was thinking that I should have checked Lily prior to getting in the shower so that she had a good 20 minutes for me to back up her insulin since this makes her numbers better. Shit.

I got out of the shower and immediately went to the endless amount of supplies I need in the morning.

1. alcohol
2. two syringes
3. Lantus (long acting insulin)
4. Novolog (short acting insulin)
5. Lancet (Multiclix)
6. Blood Glucose Monitor
7. Test strips
8. Calculator
9. Log Book
10. Pen

So, I load up and go find Lily who has now moved from my bed to the couch. She gives me that "Mooommm" look and sticks her pinky out for me test. 232. Shit. So, this brings me to last night. I check her at dinner, 92. I cover 17 grams for her corn on the cob. The pork tenderloin and salad needed no insulin since neither had carbs. I check her after dinner and she's 169 and wants ice cream. So I give her ice cream. No bolus. I am afraid she will go low, and since we are on hiatus from the pump...no Insulin On Board feature attached to her body (although if God had planned better, there would be gauges everywhere showing you insulin amounts, breast milk amounts, etc...just saying).

I put them in bed. We do the "scratch tickle" on the back, we giggle, we give multiple kisses, we make plans for the next day, etc. I then get a glass of wine, Skype with the boyfriend, catch up with a few friends, catch up with Dad, etc. At 9:30, I turn "The Bachelor" back on and a wave of concern hits me out of nowhere. I pause the TV and go get the meter to check Lily. The whole time I am thinking "something's not right. I bet she's high since I didn't bolus for the ice cream."

I creep into Lily's room trying to not wake her. I have the usual flashlight in my mouth and all of the endless supplies. I grab her little finger, test her, and the machine beeps WAY too quickly and this usually means she's low. She's 59. WTF happened there? And OMG what WOULD have happened had I waited to check her at 11 like usual. These are the moments that your heart stops for a brief second and you can hear the eery silence inside your body. There is no beating, no breathing, nothing. And then you exhale and realize that your child is fine...that by some intervention, call it intuition, whatever, you checked. So, I woke her up (sorta, she just sits up, eyes closed, swaying) and gave her milk. She drank it pretty quickly and went right back down.

At the 2 AM check, she had wet the bed...I'm sure from the milk and the fact that she was 302 now. UGH!! I chose not to dose her. What if she dropped low again? This was obviously a bounce back from the milk and low. So, I left her alone. And we woke up with a 232...but we slept. Both of us.

I just pray daily that my mother's intuition, or whatever it may be, stays up to speed and doesn't flake out on me...EVER.