The Support...

I spent all day today basking in the sun at a pool overlooking the beach and boardwalk at my dad's house. It was so nice. Just beautiful and peaceful. I started the new Lisa Scottoline book and just relaxed. I slept like a baby last night too. I was up every two hours with Lilyboo and unexplainable high numbers the night before so I was exhausted. Purely exhausted. I slept until almost 10 AM. I can't even tell you the last time I did that!

I was thinking a lot today about this blog. I was thinking that so much of the judgment and opinions I have experienced have come from my decision to be so public with my personal life. I have said in the past that I would stop writing about Matt, etc. The thing is, I get so many emails and so much support from people that read this that it made me want to write more. I guess I am learning the hard way that I shouldn't put so much out there if I don't want the backlash. You know what though? I am happy. I am at peace. I feel better than I ever have and that is HARD not to share. So I choose to share it and deal with other people's unhappiness because of it. I don't get how my love life has anything to do with others but oh well.

Here's the thing though...I feel like I am going through such a transition in my life. I am finding myself all over again. I have worked very hard in my short life to be a very positive and uplifting person. I have learned so much not only from being a mother but from being a mother of a type 1 diabetic. No one but my fellow D moms know what that takes out of you. No one really understands how lost you get in the shuffle of everyday life. The first few years of diagnosis, you are immersed in diabetes. I lost who I was very quickly in my marriage as well. So, although some people thought I was nuts for posting "The Session" and adding those pics...I felt it was so important to tell people how that made me feel to have those pictures taken...how special that made me feel...how I felt like a woman again and not a mother or pancreas. You don't realize how important that is to your psyche...your well being...until you are reminded.

This has been a time of discovery for me. I feel like people NEED to hear that life is good...that even when you are faced with really tough life happenings, it is still good. You can still CHOOSE to be a happy, honest, optimistic person. You do not have to become a depressed and miserable person. You can wake up every single day, whether your world is falling apart or not, and stare at your beautiful children and know in your heart that you are the luckiest person in the world...financial problems or not...marital problems or not...diabetes or not. I like to hold my head high and if I can help one other person who is going through similar things feel better and want to turn their world around...then I feel like I have made a difference somehow. I do not feel bad about what I choose to write. There is so much more to me and my relationships than this blog. I share my intimate thoughts but I don't share my every thought. And I am totally happy with who stares back at me from the mirror. That is such a blessing. I am happy with myself because I give my all to everything I do. I gave my all to my marriage. I give my all to my children. I have given my all to every friendship I have had...and that has failed miserably more times than not. I have given my all to my family as well and will continue to do so. I will not change who I am and I will back up every decision I have made.

I cannot tell you how thankful I am to those of you that have supported me through your kindness and words. It has been such an amazing thing to me in the hardest time of my life. This blog is my therapy and your support has restored my faith in people. I look forward to each and every day that I have with this life!!

The Surprise....

I took Matt to the airport yesterday after a wonderful, peaceful, fun-filled week together. The longest time we have spent together. We took the girls for ice cream and then drove to the airport. When we pulled up, I felt that lump in my throat. I was surprised that I was this upset at the thought of him leaving. I got out, opened the trunk for him and the second he hugged me, the tears started. Out of nowhere they came. The girls were in the car and after the last time they saw me cry...I had to pull it together. We said our goodbyes tearfully and I got back in the drivers seat once I had my shit together. I pulled away from the airport watching Matt watching me from the rear view mirror. I felt so empty at that moment.

We got stuck in traffic on the freeway for 45 minutes. The girls were getting more and more wild in the backseat...first playing and then fighting and then playing and then fighting. My phone rang and it was Matt. He was offered a $350 voucher to get bumped from his flight until the next morning. I cut across five lanes of traffic and did a U turn! One more night with my love!!

The girls were so excited too since they hadn't had much time to play with Matt. He wraps Lily up like a burrito in a blanket so this was all she would talk about. Abby is taking her time warming up to him. She talks to him, plays with him, etc. but is not ready for any hugs or even for him to tuck her in.

We took the girls to 59 Diner for a quick dinner and home to play a bit. It was such a nice little bonus surprise ending to a perfect week!

Also last night, I got word that I got a house I wanted in the burbs! I am so excited. We spent all of Sunday house hunting and I landed on this house. It's perfect for us. Fingers crossed that the inspections go well and we will be moving in April. Wow! Things are happening so fast! The girls are beside themselves with excitement. They want to live in this burb really bad. Lily has been writing in her journal about it at school! I am so happy to give them this childhood I know they will love!

So now, I am sitting in the airport feeling the voids...Matt is on a plane headed back to AZ, the girls are at school and with their daddy all weekend. Although I am really looking forward to a weekend in Florida for my dad's and stepmom's birthday shindig with my sister, I am already missing my family! Man, I definitely can't wait to throw on the bathing suit and bask in the sun all day tomorrow though! Damn, life is good...no grand...life is grand! 

The Little Things...

It's the little things in life that matter the most. It's not about the car you can afford...or the dress that you saw in the Nordstrom window...or the vacation that you have been DYING to go on. It's the little things. Plain and simple.

Yesterday afternoon was crazy. I had a huge meeting at work and it was my day to pick up the girls. Of course, the meeting was during the same time. Luckily, Matt is here and was able to get them for me and bring them to my office. Our meeting didn't quite go in the direction we were hoping for so I was bummed about that. Then, I looked up and saw a little redhead smiling at me with a huge, beautiful grin. Right behind this little redhead was a little brunette with her own little smile. A little smile that is shy and filled with love. Right behind this little brunette was a very tall, very sweet, very loving man with the biggest, bluest eyes looking right at mine and smiling from deep in his heart. This man was carrying a little pirate backpack full of diabetes supplies. He hadn't forgotten it in the car. How thoughtful.  I immediately felt less stress. I immediately felt joy pouring over me. It's the little things, like a smile from my loved ones that make me tick.

We took the girls to the Lego store to get a delayed birthday gift for Lily. Matt and Lily were like two peas in a pod running around this store. It was very cute. We took the girls to the Rainforest Cafe. Matt could sense my stress level rising a bit when we sat down and I plopped down all of our diabetes supplies on the table. I was repeatedly mumbling to myself about carb counts, why they don't have their nutrional information online, etc. He gently grabbed my hand and said, "Relax, baby." I was able to take a breath at that point. I didn't even realize I was stressed. It's such a part of my routine that I have adjusted to the way I tense up when doing her insulin calculations. It's the little things like the support I get from him when I am stressed and don't even realize it.

We got home shortly after, late, and I started bathtime and bedtime routines. The girls wanted to stay up late to play with Matt so I let them for a while. He laid on the floor and built lego cars with Lily while Abby played dolls and followed me around. Once I got them both in bed, I started laundry, cleaning up, etc. I finally plopped down on the couch and it wasn't until he grabbed my laptop, moved it to the table, pulled me close to him, and started rubbing my shoulders and telling me to unwind, that I was able to relax. I have never had someone take a moment for me like that...to see if I am okay or relaxed. The world stopped spinning for those few moments and I almost burst into tears. It was so unbelievably loving and sweet and nice. Wow. I am still stunned. It's the little things.

This morning was as crazy as every other morning. I have yet to master getting myself ready for work and getting the kids ready for school. Matt made their breakfast and lunches so I could dry my hair and get dressed. He helped Lily with homework. He watched and helped with her diabetes routine and doing her shots, all without me asking for help once or him complaining once. I seriously could have married him in my bathroom, in my robe and slippers, chip clip in the half wet hair and all. AND on top of all of this...he grabbed me to steal hugs and kisses about 20 times. It's the little things.

On the way to school, I was talking to the girls about moving to the burbs. They were asking me about the schools again. I told them that I had no clue if they would ever go to the schools out there but I told them that there are 1000 kids in the elementary school alone. Lily's response was, "So there would be 1001 if I go there. 1002 if Abby does." It's the little things. That brought the biggest smile to my face. She's always thinking.

I don't ever want to lose perspective on the little things. Without those moments in time...I would feel nothing and have no pleasure in this existence of mine. I used to really want a newer home, a nicer car, certain clothes...all sorts of things that really don't matter to me at all in the grand scheme of things. It's okay to enjoy these things but they are no longer what I want or need...I have everything I want and need right now.

D-Mom...

I am so excited to be a featured D-Mom this week on http://www.d-mom.com/ ! This is one of my favorite sites to go to for a resource for all things diabetes. Leighann's daughter, Q, was diagnosed with type 1 in May of 2008 at 3 years old. She is now on the Omnipod and is a thriving little girl! I love to follow their journey through living with diabetes. Leighann does such a great job introducing other families, new research, new food ideas, new products, reviewing all things diabetes, etc.

I was thrilled when I was asked to be featured this week! I am also a part of D-Mom and D-Dad Connection. This is a social place on the Ning network where you can blog, chat, do forums, etc. with other parents living with type 1. Leighann has really created an online home for so many of us!

Check out the feature on Meal Mommy either by clicking the link below or clicking the button on my page that says "Featured d-Mom."

http://www.d-mom.com/meet-kimberly

The Session...

Valentine's Day is tomorrow but I got my very special present a couple of days early. I have never had a present quite like this. I didn't know what to expect. It is not something that I would normally do so it was definitely out of my comfort zone. But man, it was the most fun and sexy and flirty and beautiful I have ever felt.

Matt sent me an email a few weeks ago with a website for me to look at. His friend, Lindsey, is a photographer that specializes in boudoir photos (bedroom photos). He has a few girls he has known that had a session with Lindsey and said it was just amazing and they felt so special and beautiful after doing it. So, he asked if I would be okay if he got me a session with her for Valentine's Day. At first, I was a little apprehensive and once I looked at her photos, I was very excited! Lindsey now lives in Austin so she drove in on Saturday morning.

When she got here, she explained to me how the day would go. At her request, I had already had my make up done by a make up artist here in Houston that is also a friend, Ashley Montross. I had curled my hair and was all dolled up, ready to go. Lindsey kicked Matt out to fend for himself in Houston for the day. We took pictures for almost 3 hours in my home. That definitely made things very comfortable.

Lindsey had explained that I would be naked in front of her. Luckily, I am not modest at all so I was okay with this. I stripped down to the birthday suit and climbed up on my bed. She tucked sheets in all around me and just started snapping away. We laughed so much and had such a good time. I was able to laugh at myself and not take myself seriously so it was really comfortable and fun. And of course, Lindsey really knows how to get you in the groove of the shoot.

I had so much fun doing this! We came up with so many ideas (like writing a thank you note to Matt and taking that picture with me faded in the background) and we took one where I had written I Love Matt in the bathroom mirror in red lipstick. That one was really cute. She did some of me on the stairs in lingerie, some upstairs in the playroom with the girls little kitchen and stuff in the background. Hell, she even made me climb into my farmhouse kitchen sink with no clothes on (that was NOT fun, it was cold, but turned out cute).

I had no idea I had this in me! It was so uninhibited and real. Lindsey took a lot of editorial type shots as well. Matt had one request: a white men's shirt shot. You know the one, naked with a white man's dress shirt on, opened. These turned out really beautiful!

So, I decided to write about this amazing experience because it was a once in a lifetime thing for me. To do something that I wouldn't ordinarily do...to step outside of my zone...to have a whole day focused on being a sexy woman and not just a mom...wow. It was really the best gift he could have given me.

Check Lindsey Ross out! Her business has gone through the roof and she is now traveling all over the world doing shoots! She is the best!! www.lindseyrossphotography.com

Now, for the actual Valentine's Day I get a wonderful, romantic dinner with my love!!! Such a lucky girl!

Cupid...

I am so excited today that I can hardly sit still!!!! My other gets here this afternoon and I just can't wait to dive into his arms. It's been a rocky road for us and one of lots of learning but things are great. Better than ever. Long distance is not easy...it's not fun...it makes things very difficult. It has been the root of many of our problems but when it's all said and done, we have finally figured out what we want and how we can get there!

It's the everyday things that I look forward to the most. I can't wait to just sit on the couch with him. I can't wait to go grocery shopping and run errands. Sure, we have some special stuff planned, but it's the everyday things that we look forward to the most. Those are the things we talk about constantly. It's not about doing trips, or special dinners, or anything else of the sort. For us, it's about being in the same place for longer than three days. Having coffee together. Reading our book together (The Road Less Traveled). Going for walks with the dogs. Going to the gym. Picking the girls up from school and doing homework. The little stuff that makes a relationship a relationship.

So, I am totally excited and elated and giddy today! We finally learned how to take the pressure off and just be us. There has been no more fighting, no more pressures to move, no other people for either of us and no drama. That is so nice.

So, here's to a great week ahead and a great weekend for everybody!!!

The Week Ahead...

Short post today. I celebrated a little too wholeheartedly last night with the girls. We were out late, shared tons of giggles, had too much wine...it was a great time!! We are all not feeling 100% today but it was well worth it. In fact, I think a couple of us (not me) may still be sleeping! Nothing like letting loose a group of 30 somethings that are in desperate need of a break!! Fun times!

Matt gets here tomorrow for a whole week! I am so excited!! Great things planned!! He has an amazing day planned for me on Saturday with Lindsey Ross, a photographer driving in from Austin. We are trying a new restaurant for Valentine's Day, househunting, hanging out, cooking, etc. Should be loads of fun and very relaxing! Feels good to be looking toward the future with such excitement!

Today...

Today is a new beginning...a new chapter in my life. Today, I put yesterday behind me. Today, I have let go of unnecessary negatives in my life. Today, I am only looking to the future and no longer looking at the past. Today, I feel happy. Today, I feel sad. Today, I feel like I am spinning out of control yet I am as clear as I have ever been. Today is a gloomy day with promises of a sunny future.

I spent all of yesterday on an emotional roller coaster. Yesterday was up and down. Yesterday was shocking and upsetting. I had a lot of let down yesterday from friends, family and losing the house I put an offer on. Yesterday, my children saw me cry for the first time. It took me an hour to console Abby she was so scared. She kept saying, "Mommies don't cry" in between sobs. I finally explained to the girls that Mommy does cry sometimes and that it is okay. They asked me never to do it again. That was hard.

I had wanted this house. The girls wanted this house. It was not meant to be unfortunately. We were outbid. I wasn't going any higher. So, I have started fresh today and have expanded my search criteria. I am excited at the prospect of a new beginning. Much more excited than I was yesterday.

Yesterday I realized that I don't really have much keeping me in town. I am looking forward to making new friends and starting fresh. I have let go of some of the baggage that kept me weighed down. It is amazing to me how selfish people can be. It is amazing to me to discover that not many people have any faith in me or what I have chosen for my life. It is amazing to me that I am standing so strong against that...that I am finally choosing what I want in life and who I want around me. And I am so happy that I have chosen to be a person that is accepting of others and their choices, even if I don't get that in return.

So, today, I am strong. Today, I am healthy. Today, I feel lighter...and more carefree...and more optimistic...and more excited about my future. Today, I am thankful for the friends that have chosen to stand beside me...even if I fall. The friends that have chosen to not judge me but trust in me. And today is the end of an era for me as well. An era that was fun while it lasted, produced out of a lot of love at the time, and something that I will cherish forever.

Today, I am divorced.

The House...

I am a work in progress. I am always thinking, learning, searching...trying to find the happiest I can be. I have discovered that part of the problem with me in the past is that I have a hard time making decisions for myself. Little things, like what furniture to buy, is easy for me. Big things, like where to live or what job to take, not so easy. I ask everyone that will listen their opinion. I have done this my whole life...with everything.

I have come to realize in the past few months that I need to trust myself, even if no one else trusts me to make good decisions. I am in charge of me. I know what is best for me. I have made some really hard decisions in the last few months that not many people have agreed with initially. They appear to be bad decisions to the blind eye but not to my heart. I am proud of myself because it has been hard. The more I ask for opinions from everyone around me, the harder it is to see what I want clearly. My mind gets skewed by what I think I should do for everyone. And they just love me...that's all. Not one person means harm, I know that. It is me. I ask for an opinion and then I get confused and second guess myself. Maybe this is human nature or maybe it's just my nature.

All I know is that I am truly happy. I am happy in life. I have great kids, a great job, the best family, great friends, and a very loving man in my life. Sounds crazy, right? It's true. I am just happy. I am also proud that I made these decisions on my own, after a lot of thinking, soul searching, research, etc.

I sold my house. And I put an offer on a new one. In the burbs. Fingers crossed!!

The Question...

I was having dinner with Carolyn the other night when she asked me why I never talk about my feelings with diabetes. It didn't really dawn on me that I don't discuss this much. I can't exactly remember what sparked the conversation either. I only know I have been thinking about it for days. Days.

I have really been trying to figure out why I verbalize so much of so many feelings...and I am totally comfortable doing that. I have always been an open book. I was under the impression that it applied to all of my feelings but I have realized this week that it does not. I think that I don't complain about diabetes much to others or discuss how I feel about it because I don't want to turn it into this negative thing in our lives. I don't want to spend every waking second of every day feeling sorry for us. I just want to live our lives and be as happy as possible, with diabetes in the shadows but not the forefront.

The truth of the matter is, I don't think people want to hear it either. Now, I know if I went to Carolyn and just let the flood gates open, she would be there with her best listening ears...as she always is. That would change things though in some way that I can't figure out. It's almost like I would be letting diabetes get the best of me...by allowing it to take over my emotions. Right now, I have this capability of compartmentalizing things. I almost feel like I have a storage area in my head. Sounds weird, I know. But I take things that have happened to me, good or bad, and gather information, details, reasoning, facts, etc. and I figure out how to process it and where to put it. I then put it in it's storage box, all wrapped up, and put it where I think it needs to be in my head and my heart. Filed away to use as experiences and knowledge down the road. I did this with diabetes and I now know where it is, what it means to me, and how I process it. I think maybe I am afraid if I start FEELING all of these feelings...it may screw up my storage system. I don't want that to happen.

I guess the best way to describe diabetes for me is that it is a constant in my head that I have grown accustomed to. It's always there, lurking. My alarm goes off at 6 AM and before my eyes even open...I think about Lily's numbers. Has she gone up or down since the 2 AM check? I try to just lay in bed and enjoy a few minutes of doing nothing prior to getting up but I can't stop thinking, "Is she okay in there?" So, without fail, I go in to do the Breathing Check. Morbid, I know, but only another D mom would get this so why share it with others? Once I realize she's still with me, I can go get ready in my version of peace.

Once Lily gets up, I do all of my diabetes routines in auto-pilot. I get everything ready for her lunch, count all of the carbs, make all of the necessary notes for nurses and teachers, etc. The whole time I am drinking coffee and trying to get dressed for work, I am fighting the image in the mirror. I am tired, I have bags under my eyes, and I am falling asleep while blow drying my hair. When I get up at 2 AM, it's for 4 minutes tops but that disruption in sleep is exhausting. And if her number is not on target at 2 AM, it results in other nightly checks. I am so used to doing this that it just feels natural to do so. I am used to operating under these conditions. It's been almost 4 years since diagnosis.

I go through my day as any other working parent. I enjoy the break the job has to offer. I enjoy the adult interaction. I enjoy having an office and computer and child-free place. The whole time, I am constantly wondering what effect her snack had on her numbers, did she eat all of her lunch, did she get too much insulin at lunch and is now going to go low at recess...it goes on and on. When I pick the girls up from school, I ask questions about their day and Lily's numbers.

My day is typical...for ME. We have a routine as does everyone else. Diabetes has just become part of that routine. I do not want diabetes to take over our lives though. I don't want diabetes to be the culprit for any and all things that go wrong in our lives. I just want it to stay a shadow. I don't want Lily's whole life to be around diabetes either. I think that may be part of the burnout she is going through now. For a long time, all that we did was somehow related to her disease.

I was also really worried about Eric and I trying to date with diabetes in the shadows but honestly, it hasn't caused a problem at all. Eric's girlfriend doesn't seen bothered or scared away and she is great with the girls. Matt was not at all phased by this disease. He has just dived in studying diabetes online and learning all he can. He even wants to help check her, etc.

So, I guess I don't tell too many people, or talk too much about how diabetes effects me daily, both physically and emotionally, because I don't see the point. I have D friends to vent to if I need to.  It's much easier because it takes less words. It can take one word: tired, and they know exactly what I mean. I can say, "I have had a bad diabetes day" and no explanation is required. And the more I talk about it or discuss it, the more attention it gets and the shadow is more than likely to take over.

The Text...

Lily's drawing of the pitch fork people, a.ka. "American Gothic"

I got a text from the school nurse yesterday that was pretty funny. It read, "Lily was 53. She decided on two pieces of chocolate to treat. She didn't like how she felt coming out of the low. She said 'milk is a better choice I think.' Nice to see her taking ownership of her diabetes."

I could not agree more! Lily is growing up so fast and it makes me so proud to see who she is becoming. I feel like by giving her the choices we have, she is really learning to make wise decisions on her own. She is coming to her own conclusions about many things and a lot of the time, it is a heathy choice she is making. For example, the other day, I asked her what snack she would like to bring to school. Her first response was Cheez Its. She then said, "No mama, I want a pear. That way it's healthier." I just smiled and said, "Good choice, kiddo."

She is finding herself on her own with encouragement from her parents, not with us guiding her in certain directions. She is finding that she has a strong love of sports. Basketball is currently her favorite but she is now asking to try volleyball this summer. She is very certain of who she is and is not afraid to be that person. I admire that so much. I don't remember being that confident at 7 years old.

Lily is the most amazing artist. She gets that from Eric and I am so happy they will always have that special bond between them. They can sit and draw together for hours. She is known in her class for being the "best artist." She has been elected to draw the cover of just about every class book they have made and for that, she feels very special.

Sometimes I wonder if Lily would be the same strong-willed, confident, independent little girl if she didn't have diabetes. It seems to have made her mature a little faster and look at things a little differently than her peers. She is faced with more decisions than the average 7 year old and she has had to overcome more hurdles...is still overcoming them and always will. She has had that soft background music that is diabetes playing in her mind she was 3. It has to have had at least a small effect on molding her into who she is today.

I am planning a seminar through work here for our elementary-aged kids that focuses on building a healthy plate of food and learning to carb count. These kids of ours are going to be adults one day. They need to learn how to make good choices in life and in health. I think that if they learn from an early age NOT to eliminate all "fun foods" from their diet, but to add healthier choices to their "fun foods" to slow down their carb absorption, they will be less likely to go on binges or have eating disorders. Everything in moderation!

The Cold...

The girls the last time it snowed in H-town!

I awoke this morning to Abby running through the house screaming because the house alarm was beeping. She was screaming, "MOMMY! Lily's Pod is going crazy!!!" I said, "That's the alarm Abby. Lily doesn't wear her pod anymore, remember?" to which she replied, "Oh." Only in the house of a diabetic!

The power had gone out. Monday, I was running around in running shorts and a tee shirt all day. It was 70 degrees. By yesterday afternoon, I was wishing I had brought our coats with us to play. It was getting really, really cold. This morning, the power went out at 6 AM...which means no heat...and it was 20 degrees...in Houston. WTF? So, the five of us huddled together (the dogs included) to stay warm. At 7 AM, the power came back on. I took a very cold shower since it was 60 degrees in the house. At 7:30, no power. Again. I had half my head curled, no coffee yet, the iron wasn't hot yet, no lunches made, etc, etc, etc. We ended up getting to school an hour late and I was 30 minutes late to work. Not. Fun. At. All.

Now, I grew up just outside of DC and it was COLD. I don't think I ever really got used to that since every winter my fingers and toes stayed a weird shade of blue and I had no circulation in them. I busted my ass at least once a year on ice in the high school parking lot and couldn't feel snot running down my face since it was numb. Prior to DC, I was the southern girl I still am, living in Alabama. And now that I have been a Texan (yee haw) for 20 years...I really don't like the cold. I would much prefer to be drenched in sweat wearing a tank, shorts and flipflops than bundled up under 500 layers of clothing and still frigging cold. I love to lay in the sun and feel the sun tingling (and frying) my skin. On a side note, now that I am aging gracefully, I wear a huge floppy hat and 70+ sunscreen.

The weather man says it is going to snow tomorrow night possibly and leave six inches of snow by Friday...in a city that doesn't snow. Everyone is freaking out. Houston is not prepared for snow. The city will be in mayhem. It is in mayhem when it rains...or God forbid, hails. People forget how to drive, everyone is frantic, it's a mess. Centerpoint Energy has already started doing rolling blackouts all day (hence, the electricity issues this AM). There is no storm and no threat of loss of power today...I don't get it but oh well.

Now, when it is this cold Lily's numbers are low. Apparently her body works harder to keep her warm so she tends to go lower. I don't believe anyone with an MD behind their name told me that but it sounds reasonable. I mean, the clouds move at a faster pace and it affects her numbers so why the hell not? Tonight should be interesting for their dad since she's with him. I get the snow day!!!

Little Tantrum Tip...

A few years back, we took Lily to her first therapy session. We took her because she had just been diagnosed with D and she was only 3 years old. I wasn't sure how to explain things to her, how to answer questions that arose about D, or how to discipline her for misbehaving and not eating. I could no longer just take her food away. And she knew that.

We packed up our little toddler and went to therapy once a week for two months. We learned so much. Lily was never a bad child, still isn't. She listens and is respectful. But she is a smart child. A very smart child who is not afraid to use this to her advantage.

The one thing that really stayed with me from this therapy is to simply shut yourself off when your child starts throwing a fit. Do not yell, do not correct, do not give positive reinforcement, do not even give "the look." Your child is looking for attention and will be getting it whether it is good attention or bad attention. Now, this is not an easy thing to do. Your blood will boil. Your inside voice will be cussing up a storm. But you can show no emotion at all. You just go on about your business while they lay there kicking and screaming. Step over them and continue on with your day. This took lots of practice and I still fail sometimes at doing so. I will tell you it works though. Like a charm. If one of my children is whining incessantly or throwing a huge fit, I don't even acknowledge their presence. This particularly annoys Abby as she starts screaming "Stop ignoring me!!" After a few minutes though, they stop whatever attention-seeking behavior they were doing since they are getting no reaction from me.

I find this true of adults as well. There are some adults in this world that have yet to leave elementary school emotionally. They are immature, cruel, vindictive and just overall...not very good people. I find that adults often create all of this drama around themselves in order to get attention from a certain someone or something. It is easy to fall into this trap if you aren't careful. I think if you just ignore some people, they will simply go away. They will get sick of trying to ruffle your feathers. Just like a child that is not getting his or her way with a full-blown tantrum, an adult should not get his or her way when throwing a tantrum. Adults should know better, take the high road, and move on.

So, I have tried to apply all of the things that I have learned in the last few years to my daily life and it isn't easy! Sometimes the easy way out is to fight back and go nuts. I have learned that you cannot win against an irrational person (FYI...tantrum-throwing children are NOT rational) so it is best to just give no reaction and go on about your business!