Today is a new beginning...a new chapter in my life. Today, I put yesterday behind me. Today, I have let go of unnecessary negatives in my life. Today, I am only looking to the future and no longer looking at the past. Today, I feel happy. Today, I feel sad. Today, I feel like I am spinning out of control yet I am as clear as I have ever been. Today is a gloomy day with promises of a sunny future.
I spent all of yesterday on an emotional roller coaster. Yesterday was up and down. Yesterday was shocking and upsetting. I had a lot of let down yesterday from friends, family and losing the house I put an offer on. Yesterday, my children saw me cry for the first time. It took me an hour to console Abby she was so scared. She kept saying, "Mommies don't cry" in between sobs. I finally explained to the girls that Mommy does cry sometimes and that it is okay. They asked me never to do it again. That was hard.
I had wanted this house. The girls wanted this house. It was not meant to be unfortunately. We were outbid. I wasn't going any higher. So, I have started fresh today and have expanded my search criteria. I am excited at the prospect of a new beginning. Much more excited than I was yesterday.
Yesterday I realized that I don't really have much keeping me in town. I am looking forward to making new friends and starting fresh. I have let go of some of the baggage that kept me weighed down. It is amazing to me how selfish people can be. It is amazing to me to discover that not many people have any faith in me or what I have chosen for my life. It is amazing to me that I am standing so strong against that...that I am finally choosing what I want in life and who I want around me. And I am so happy that I have chosen to be a person that is accepting of others and their choices, even if I don't get that in return.
So, today, I am strong. Today, I am healthy. Today, I feel lighter...and more carefree...and more optimistic...and more excited about my future. Today, I am thankful for the friends that have chosen to stand beside me...even if I fall. The friends that have chosen to not judge me but trust in me. And today is the end of an era for me as well. An era that was fun while it lasted, produced out of a lot of love at the time, and something that I will cherish forever.
Today, I am divorced.