Monday, December 6, 2010

A Love Letter of Sorts...

I have been in a such a bad place mentally lately and well, I finally snapped out of it! It's not me to walk around all mopey and have pity party after pity I felt like getting all of the mushy lovies out of my system today!

Dear Girls:

You are the loves of my life. My sole purpose for breathing every day. You have held me together and torn me to part all in one day...but you never do anything but make me happy. I don't know how I lived without you for the first part of my life...I think that your little souls have been with me the whole time.

I will always remember and charish holding your little bodies next to me and listening to you breathe your little shallow breaths while you ate. You would stare up at me with these HUGE eyes just studying every part of my face.My favorite thing used to be watching you stretch. You would stick your little toes and fingers out as far as you could and open your little mouths as wide as they would go!

Lily, I will never forget the first time you stood in your crib. I came in your bedroom, tiptoeing, to see if you had awakened yet and as I opened the were staring back at me with the biggest, goofiest grin on your little face! You were so proud. We clapped and squealed and spun in circles!

Abby, my favorite memory of you is when you found your favorite little thumb. Since day one you have held Piggy's right ear and sucked your left thumb. It was not even an inch long! You had your little head turned to the side while searching and gurgling until you found it and it was like automatic relaxation. Your breathing slowed down, you started purring, and you were out...lost to dream land!

You have made my life worth every second that I have been here. I hope that I am giving you the best childhood you could have ever hoped for! It is my dream as a mother, that you look back fondly  at growing up and that the positives outweigh the negatives. I hope I can show you how to be strong women and to go after what you want and not be afraid to walk away from what doesn't work. You both make me so proud and I love you to pieces!!!


And to my boyfriend: my dad told me long ago that every bad relationship is a stepping stone to the right one. I believe him now. Thanks for waiting 19 are such a special gift.

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