Tuesday, December 14, 2010

No Judgement Here...

As I was driving the kids to school this morning, I was lost in lala land watching everyone else around me. There was a woman in front of me that was having trouble driving because she was applying mascara. When I got to the school, cars were everywhere with moms trying to get their kids out safely and into their classrooms. I started thinking about all of these people and what is going on behind their smiles.

I have been looking at moving to the burbs. The burbs is no big deal to some folks around the US. For some reason, in Houston, the burbs are like moving to Canada...as far as distance goes. You either live inside the loop and are a cool, city person, or you live outside the loop and you are not so cool anymore...live in the burbs and you have sold your soul to become a Stepford Wife.So, I have been thinking about how judgemental people can be and wondering if they will be as judgemental in my new neighborhood as they were in my old. And I have been judgemental in my time as well...I can remember my pre-kids life and seeing families at restaurants with their kids talking loudly and sitting up on their knees. I remember saying to friends that I would NEVER let my kids behave that way in public...well, that is just a hysterical statement to make. Now that I have kids, I totally get it. I was also much more opinionated and judgemental prior to Lily's diagnosis. A chronic illness in your family can definitely bring you down to Earth. People will judge you on how you raise your kids, what you feed them, how you handle diabetes, etc...because they KNOW, they GET IT. Yeah, right...but okay, you say so.

And then with my divorce. Wow, so many casualties there. People are VERY quick to judge why the marriage failed, who is at fault, what they would have done differently...etc. I guess it's human nature..unless you have been through these types of traumatic things.

So, I'm driving this morning and I see a dad with his little girl and he is smiling and carrying her into school. From the outside, they look so content and happy. One might wonder why he isn't in work clothes, why he is carrying his daughter into class when she is no longer a toddler, why they are late, etc. Well, I know, that particular family just lost their 2 year old son to complications from a benign brain tumor...a week ago.

One might wonder why the couple sitting at the bar a few weeks ago were cuddling and holding hands and showing lots of affection in public. Some bad looks may even be thrown their way. Well, maybe it's because they hadn't seen each other in years and don't see each other often.

One might wonder why a 7 year old little girl is crying and throwing a fit at her first basketball game and refusing to play. Some make comments about why that mother would MAKE her child do this...well, they don't know that the little girl is diabetic and has a blood sugar over 400 which brings out the monster.

So, I am writing this today to remind anyone who reads this damn thing to NOT be so quick to judge. You have no idea what is going behind those sometimes forced smiles. For all you know, the two kids that are acting like hellions are the product of a newly single mom who is dealing with A LOT behind closed doors in the form of divorce, diabetes, etc.


  1. The story of the father who lost the little boy broke my heart. Ive been saying this for so long. Dont judge. You dont know whats going. Great post!

  2. I LOVE this post! So, so, so true. How I wish people could get a glimpse into each other's lives and cut each other a little slack. We are all here on earth doing the best with what we got.


  3. Alexis, I cannot even begin to pretend to understand about the 2 year old...can't wrap my head around it. I only hope they have the strength to make it through each day for their 7 year old. And Reyna...with this topic, I could go on and on and on for days. I see so many judging ALL the time and making comments all the time. It's awful. People have reasoning behind all they do and who are we to decide what's right for them?