Meal Mommy: Been A While...

Tuesday, October 5, 2010

Been A While...

I haven't written lately because I've been having a hard time finding the right words. My life has taken a 180 degree turn...in zero time. I went from married, stay at home mom of two, to divorced, full time working mom...all in a month's time frame. Crazy how that happens...at lightning speed. And at my own doing. I am happy. I am happier than I was. That is for sure. But it's weird. Diabetes is not my sole reason for waking up each day. I have actually thought about ME. Thought about what I want out of life for me and my kids. It is bittersweet. It feels good to care about myself but there is guilt for not only thinking about my kids. It's crazy. I promised myself that if I started blogging, I would be honest and raw. So I am.

I feel like a little bird that is trying to fly for the first time. I get out there and try to spread my wings, hoping I won't crash and burn, yet I do again and again. I am determined to learn to fly so I keep pulling myself back up...but it is exhausting. And heartbreaking. I know I will spread my wings and soar but it is going to take time. I need to take care of myself first or I am no good to my kids. I need to remember what it is that I want out of life, and need, and not settle for less. It is important to show my girls that you don't give up, or give in. You have to be strong and fight for what you believe in.

Lily really needs to learn this because she has been dealt a very specific deck of cards...ones that will be forever changing and cause her a lot of ups and downs in her life. She needs to have a good role model...someone to look up to you. Someone that she can say always went after what she wanted and got it...if it was good for her...but turned away from something that wasn't. She needs to know that she is loved and that she is not different. She is just a very strong little girl. I need to get my focus back.

1 comment:

MattOctober 5, 2010 at 9:52 PM
I dont think your focus has gone anywhere. It is still there and I think you an awesome woman. You have the strongest passion for stuff I have seen in a long time and I hope you continue to have that drive with Lily. She will see your determination....I am sure of it. Keep up the great work with your girls...You are doing an awesome job.

Matthew
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What is Type 1? Type 1 diabetes occurs when the body's own immune system destroys the insulin-producing cells of the pancreas (called beta cells). Signs: frequent thirst, frequent urination, weight loss, exhaustion. For Dummies: Your pancreas breaks.

What is Type 2? Type 2 Diabetes occurs when insulin that the body produces is less efficient at moving sugar out of the bloodstream. Some sugar is moved out of the blood, just not as effectively compared to a person with normal insulin efficiency. High blood sugars are a result of this. Diet, exercise, weight loss, and possible medications are the treatment for this type of diabetes. Occasionally, someone with Type 2 may be placed on insulin to better control blood sugars. This type of diabetes is associated with physical inactivity and obesity. Type 2 Diabetes used to be thought of as the adult onset type of diabetes. However, an alarming rate of children are now being diagnosed with Type 2 Diabetes (from http://www.diabetesplanner.com/).

What is a bolus? A bolus dose of insulin is the dose of regular or rapid-acting insulin that is injected to cover the food eaten in a meal or a snack (carbohydrates specifically).

What is basal insulin? The basal insulin is the “background” insulin, it works behind the scenes to cover daily functions such as breathing, heart rate, etc.

What is DOC or D-OC? Diabetes Online Community

What is PWD? Person With Diabetes

What is a D-Mom? Mother of a diabetic

What is the average range of numbers? This can vary by age but for Lily (7) it’s 80-160. Anything below 70 is low and must be treated with 15 grams of carbs. High for us is anything over around 250 and we give insulin to bring the number back down.

What is DKA? Diabetic ketoacidosis, aka DKA, is a serious complication of diabetes, which occurs when a very high blood sugar level (above 300 mg/dL) is coupled with a severe shortage of insulin in the body. This is more common in Type I diabetes because the body produces very little or no insulin on it's own. The body starts to break down fat for energy and ketones (toxic acids) develop. People with DKA usually complain of nausea, vomiting, abdominal pain, rapid breathing, and sometimes a fruity odor on their breath. This can lead to coma or death and should be treated by medical personnel immediately (from http://www.about.com/).

What are ketones? Organic compounds that result when body fat is broken down for energy. Glucose is usually used by cells for energy. But, when there's no insulin to help it transport out of the blood and into the cells, the body has an "energy crisis" and starts to break down body fat into ketones as an alternative fuel source (from http://www.about.com/).

What is an A1C test? It is an average of blood sugars over a 2-3 month period of time and is used to determine how well diabetes is being managed. For dummies: The report card.