Well, since I tend to write more about just life in general...I decided to give Meal Mommy a new lookie loo. After all it is simple...life is complicated. There is so much more to our crazy little world than just Lily's diabetes. It is our background music, as I have said before, but there is so much more to us!
I have my 20 year high school reunion in a couple of months. TWENTY YEARS. I never even thought I'd say I have done something for 20 years as that makes me feel old. So, I bought this cute dress. I came home, dusted off the treadmill and ran, and I restocked my face moisturizer. I should have been doing the latter two for the last twenty years but oh well.
Where has time gone? I see my life in segments.
1. Early Childhood (the Germany years)
2. Elementary School and Alabama
3. The Reston Years (5th-12th grade)
4. Aggie Life (Texas A&M and the craziest time)
5. Tampa (a runaway moment that lasted two years)
6. Single in Houston (this is hazy)
7. Marriage
8. Children (Best time yet)
9. Divorce
10. Post Divorce learning and love (where I am now)
When I left high school, I really left. My parents were in the throes of their divorce and it was not a good time for me so I turned my back and moved to Texas. I didn't keep in touch and I didn't go back but three times since then. It was hard to go back each time because it was like a piece of the life I didn't get. The kids going to my PARENTS house for holidays, me having a "childhood home," etc. If it wasn't for Facebook, I would have no idea where all of my long lost high school friends ended up.
I guess I am one of those that needs to physically move on to move on. I took Lily to a birthday party for her "bff" whose mom was my "bff" prior to divorce. I was hesitant to take her since I hadn't seen these people in so long but she really wanted to go. I ended that day in tears. It was like walking into my life as it was a little over a year ago. The people I was so close to that I no longer see, the kids I no longer see, the neighborhood I no longer am a part of...the life of the stay at home mom that I gave up to find happiness in my heart. It was draining. Emotionally draining. But...it is life. And you move on.
I was told the other day by someone else that once loved me that I sound unstable in my blog. I beg to differ...I am more stable than I have ever been. And I am finally strong enough to face my feelings and live life to the fullest. I am human. I have flaws. I also have strengths. I am not ashamed to share my thoughts...that's all they are, my thoughts. I am just one little person trying to get by and be a good example to my little girls. And I think I am doing a pretty damn good job considering they are both independent and strong.
So, I am going to drag my ass to get a bagel and then go upstairs and run it off. Maybe.
Nice new look. :)
ReplyDelete#1 You're a GREAT Mom! You have two bright, vibrant, amazing girls to prove it.
ReplyDelete#2 Part of the reason I love your blog so much is that you are honest about the ups & downs of life. I don't think being honest about it makes you appear unstable. It's just reality. No one is perfect & no one has a perfect life, and if being honest about your ups & downs appears unstable to some, then send them to my blog so they can see what "unstable" really looks like! HA!
#3 LOVE the new look!
#4 I can completely identify with not having a "childhood home" or place to take my kids for holidays, other than our own home.
#5 You're a hottie & you're going to rock that 20 yr reunion, dusty treadmill or not. :)
Thanks Amy!!!!!!!! Love you!
ReplyDeletelove your blog! read each entry..and the new look is beautiful!!
ReplyDeleteI like the new look :)
ReplyDeleteI don't find you sounding unstable... I get it. My blog is a place to vent so that I don't let those certain things creep into my everyday life. Heck... what is "stable" anyways?!?!
BTW: Didn't know you lived in Tampa.
Lived there from 95-98ish. Yours truly was a cocktail waitress for a while at the Green Iguana on Westshore. BEST FOOD EVER!
ReplyDeleteAnd damn...I AM OLD!
ReplyDeleteIf your old that means I'm getting old too, which I refuse to admit :) The pic of you and your two girls is beautiful! New follower from MBC, have a great week!
ReplyDeletehttp://wvfrugal-wvsaver.blogspot.com/
Thank you so much and glad you stopped by!!!
ReplyDeleteLove it! And you! You had a rough year you need to vent. I get it. Keep on being you mama :)
ReplyDeleteYou certainly sound stable to me. :)
ReplyDeleteThanks Jenny! I might be having a moment here...
ReplyDeleteI'm definitely having a moment for you.
ReplyDeleteDivorce is certainly an unstable time period. But you have made a new life for yourself, will get though it. I wonder how "stable" stay at home moms would be if they had to keep up with our night time blood sugar check schedule, then get up at 6am every day for a full day's work. I do it, but I work three long days, don't have to get up five days a week and go to work. I don't know how a single parent is able to do all this, but you do, and looking by your photo you look great while doing it, by the way. You have a double load, as a single parent and you are handling it beautifully. Hope you find love, happiness and a manageable work schedule; I think you will.
ReplyDeleteYou are definitely not unstable!! I worked in a personal injury law firm for 10 years, so I know unstable!! LOL!! I know I've told you before, but I really enjoy reading your blog. It's so real and honest, just like we are when we go out with our friends to vent about life. I feel like I've laughed with you, cried with you, and so many times felt exactly like you. If it wasn't for you and the other D moms I've met in the last few months, I would be in such a sad place. Instead, I feel empowered knowing I'm not alone, and very blessed to have met such amazing women who I now call friends. Don't change a thing....you're an amazing mom and person! Love the new look, too!
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