I sit here today in frustration. Partly because I am exhausted. Lily was 149 when it was time for bed. I had gotten the girls a cookie from Dessert Gallery earlier in the day and I let them split it last night. I gave her the correct bolus for it and put her in bed. At 11, she was 200ish. At 2, she woke me up...she had peed in the bed because she was in the high 300's. Big. Huge. Sigh. Damn cookie. Damn diabetes. Damn me for staying up late AGAIN. So, I corrected her and she crawled in bed with me. At some point, Abby had come down and crawled in my bed as well. I spent the better part of the night hanging off of my side while my children were sprawled out sleeping like little angels.
I woke up at 6:00 and hit snooze up until Matt called at 6:20 and pretty much made sure I was out of bed (thank you baby). The three of us were dragging but made it on time to school. I was supposed to come home and run again but was just too damn tired and too focused on job searching. So, I got on the computer and went to work.
There is so much rejection in job searching. I hate it. I know I have the skills, education, ambition and motivation to succeed at just about anything. Problem is, selling yourself on a little piece of paper is not so easy. So, I am now trying to call by doing some detective work on these companies. We'll see what happens.
I am remaining positive though! Things are not too bad yet and I can always get a temp job at any time. I am lucky to have a supportive family and supportive friends. I am lucky to have a good head on my shoulders. I am lucky to have a roof over my head and a fully stocked fridge. I am lucky to have two amazing little girls to cuddle up to and love on. And...I am lucky to have the love of my life by my side cheering me on. I am lucky because these things are what really matter and keep me going. It is easy to focus on the negative and stay in a rut. I have no desire to do that though. Why would I? What could possibly come of that?