The Recent Grad...

I am a recruiter. I love what I do. Most of the time, I spend my day getting to know people, asking lots of questions and learning about their desires and dreams for their future. Sometimes, I come across the giant, ego-inflated asshole and it's funny to me that 99% of the time, they are someone with less than a year of experience under their belt, and feel very entitled to get things they don't yet deserve. So, after dealing with yet another cocky, young recent grad yesterday, I felt compelled to write an open letter to the recent grads out there:

Congratulations on getting your education. This is a huge life event for you and one to be very proud of. You have worked very hard and deserve all the things in the world. These things will come to you through more learning and more hard work. Let me remind you of a few things before you attempt to enter the workforce. I have spent my career finding people jobs that I hope they love. I have also spent my career working with the people that will hire you, or not, so here is my unsolicited advice... 

This degree means that you made a goal for yourself and you reached it. This does not make you an expert in this field; only time gives you that expertise. Having a college education makes you more desirable because it shows that you achieved something you set out to do. It shows that you have learned how to be a student and you survived. It shows that you cared enough about yourself and your aspirations to better your success rate. You have indeed given yourself a step up from a few. Congratulations on this accomplishment.

Now this is important, so listen up. You are not the only person ever to have gotten a degree. This does not put you at the top of the list for this potential employer. It means you met a requirement. This does not give you the right to have an inflated ego and think that you know more than the person interviewing you. This will certainly put you at the bottom of the list. A lot of recent grads are deemed unhirable by some companies because of this very reason. Be the surprise, change the way these employers think by NOT being this person.

You are not going to walk off of the stage and into a $100K a year job having never worked in a professional environment. Be ready to roll up your sleeves and get dirty. You are probably going to be doing some grunt work that first year. Open your mind to it, learn through it, look up to your manager...find a mentor. Be smart, not a smart ass. The best thing you can do for your career in the beginning is be open to learning, be honest, be ethical, and make yourself valuable to your employer. You SHOULD be creative, a team player, flexible, and ready to be molded. You SHOULD NOT be a know it all or feel as though you are entitled to something. You are entitled to nothing but the paycheck you EARN. 

By being young, energetic, and new you can bring a fresh approach to this potential employer. You have a lot to offer so don't screw it up by not being able to accept that you lack experience and have to work your way up...just like we all did. 

Clarity...

clar·i·ty

noun \ˈkler-ə-tē, ˈkla-rə-\

: the quality of being easily understood
: the quality of being expressed, remembered, understood, etc., in a very exact way

: the quality of being easily seen or heard

I realized something this afternoon. I have absolute clarity. There is no question. I am totally lucid. For the first time...maybe ever...I am completely clear-headed. I don't even know what to do with that thought, or feeling. I have lived most of my life with some sort of chaos. Then it hit me at the gym, on the elliptical. I am not unhappy, with pretty much anything. That is HUGE. That requires a beer.

I am married to the love of my life.

I have three beautiful children and that is finally complete.

I love my job...like LOVE it love it. 

We have a beautiful house and a beautiful life.

I have awesome friends and I live on a street where I can walk around the circle and stop at each house and have a beer. The girls can ride bikes safely.

My family...we have all come so far in being a family.

My new family (i.e. Matt's family) is all I have ever longed for...brothers and a new sister, a crafty and ultra cool MIL that I can shoot the shit with.

I wouldn't change a thing about this life. And I wouldn't change a thing about the life I had because it led me here. I learned. I grew. I came out okay. I came out better. 

I was reading through some of my old blogs and what an amazing journey I was on. It is a journey that so many people go through and stumble through...how you come out on the other end is what matters. I took a lot of criticism for being so "public" about it all. That's who I am though and I am happy I was, because I learned from that too.

Clarity is awesome and powerful and comforting. My little heart is so full! Damn 40 rocks.

 

To Apple...

If anyone from Apple is listening...

It would be greatly appreciated if you could tell me how to find, and turn off, whatever parental control type thing you have built into your AutoCorrect. It is highly irritating to me that my phone keeps changing my shits to shots and fucks to ducks. I am irritable right now and find some solace in venting via text to whoever is willing to listen to my rant about oh...stupid drivers, bill companies, the smell of dogs, the line at Whataburger (DO NOT JUDGE), etc.

You see, I have been clinically diagnosed with PMDD (basically PMS on crack) and it is THIS very week that I am in the throws of this pain in the ASS condition. When someone cuts me off and I find myself about to implode and fire off a text to my bestie to tell her all about it, I want the words to ring true. To continually have to delete the words you are sensoring (or whatever it is doing), makes me throw my phone in hopes of breaking it...only my darling husband has bought me a LifeProof case so I can't even break the  phone...which causes more angry texting.

I just want to curse at my leisure.

So stop "ducking" with me.


What is PMDD? It's a real thing, believe it or not. AND IT DUCKING SUCKS.

Premenstrual dysphoric disorder (PMDD) is a severe form of premenstrual syndrome (PMS). Like PMS, premenstrual dysphoric disorder follows a predictable, cyclic pattern. Symptoms begin in the late luteal phase of the menstrual cycle (after ovulation) and end shortly after menstruation begins.^[6] On average, the symptoms last six days, with the most intense symptoms happening in the two days before through the day of the start of menstrual blood flow.^[7]
Emotional symptoms are generally present, and in PMDD, mood symptoms are dominant.^[6] Substantial disruption to personal relationships is typical for women with PMDD.^[6] Anxiety, anger, and depression may also occur. The main symptoms, which can be disabling, include^[8]

• Feelings of sadness or despair, or even thoughts of suicide
• Feelings of tension or anxiety
• Panic attacks
• Mood swings or frequent crying
• Lasting irritability or anger that affects other people
• Lack of interest in daily activities and relationships
• Trouble thinking or focusing
• Tiredness or low energy
• Food cravings or binge eating
• Trouble sleeping
• Feeling out of control
• Physical symptoms, such as bloating, breast tenderness, headaches, and joint or muscle pain

The symptoms occur during the week before menstruation, and go away once it starts. A diagnosis of PMDD requires the presence of at least five of these symptoms

Grateful...

My love comes in all forms. It hits me at the hardest of times and brings tears to my eyes at any given second.

It's so strong. It's so primal. It's the best and scariest and most vulnerable thing that I have ever experienced...motherhood.

My love for my children is amazing. It's different for each child. I feel differently in my heart when I look into each set of eyes. The hopes are different. The worries are different. The fears are different.

It's hard to balance it all. It's just so much sometimes. I feel guilty, a lot. I shouldn't but I do. Am I more focused on one and not enough on another? Am I harder on one and too soft on another? Am I scarring them for life somehow? Am I too strict? Am I not strict enough? Is there enough of me to go around? It's endless.

Children are God's greatest gift. There's no other explanation for the feelings that come with them when they enter your life. It's indescribable to someone who has never had them. It's impossible to think of someone hurting one that they have had.

I am so overwhelmed today with the love I have for them. My three precious little gifts. I strive to be the absolute best mommy to them that they can imagine. I see the love in their eyes when they look at me. I feel their love when, even at 10, my oldest grabs my hand in a parking lot. They want to "cuddle me" all the time. Please don't ever let that go away.

Just feeling very grateful today for what I have. My mark on this Earth...my three little babies.

November

This is a post from 2011 but I wanted to share it again. It's one of my favorites. November is awareness month. Diabetes has been weighing on my mind a lot lately...lots of events in the past month with pump malfunctions, a few scares, the walk, etc. Being six years in, the pain of it all doesn't hit me as much as it used to, but when it does it feels like a fresh wound...not a new wound but one I am used to and with each time it is reopened, the wisdom I have now sometimes makes it worse. There are constant reminders. The fact that Lily can never get a break...ever...EVER. Well, that is heartbreaking for a mom to know.

I can only hope that all of my posts and all of the times that I have shared the symptoms might one day help someone.

Love to all!

From 2011:

Innocence is something that every child should have and hold on to for as long as possible. Innocence is what allows them to feel free of responsibility, and allows them to live in a creative world that they have created. A world full of dreams, hopes, fairy tales and adventure! I love to watch my girls as they engage in pretend play! They get lost in the world they have fantasized, much like I do when I find a really good book.

When I think of someone's heart, someone like mine, I think of a quilt. From the time I was little, until the age I am now, I have collected patches along the way. With each heartache, I have had to patch up that part of my heart. It still works the same, it just looks and feels a little different.And the patches hold. Some people have very few patches and others have enough to make a quilt. I think that each heartache you experience makes your quilt that more beautiful. It is hard to get through the tough times but they make us who we are. And how we get through those times determines, for me, whether or not your patch holds.

I wear a patch on my heart that has a huge blue circle on it, as does my daughter, her father and her sister. Pretty much anyone that loves her wears that same patch. I am sad that the kids lost a tiny bit of innocence with this patch but I know that it is going to be a part of their quilt later in life.

November is Diabetes Awareness Month. I am hoping that each and every one of us that deals with this disease daily can at least educate a few individuals on what it is and what it is NOT. Lives can be saved just by knowing the risks, lives can be improved by knowing how to manage it properly, and lesson can be learned on how to cope.