Going back to work has been a pretty positive experience for me so far. There are times that I have guilt though. I feel guilty for not being a permanent fixture at the girls' school. I was up there for almost every party and made sure I was involved in planning just about every event. It was my "job." Now that I work full time, my role has shifted somewhat.
I signed up to do one party in each of the girls classes this year. For Abby, it was an Easter party. So, I got an email from the room parent that I need to bring tablecloths. To many, even me a year ago, this would seem like no big deal. Well, for me and the half brain that I have been functioning on for months...it was quite the task. Last night, around 9 PM, I tell my boyfriend, Matt, that I have to get up early in order to buy tablecloths. He reminds me of this several times before we hang up. At 6:45 AM, my phone rings...it's Matt reminded me to get my ass in gear so I can get the tablecloths. Mind you, I have known about this for a week but haven't had a chance to stop at a grocery store and get them. Literally...not a chance.
So, we haul ass all morning to get ready for school and work...we rush out of the door ON TIME and head to CVS. Wouldn't you know it? They are out of tablecloths. OF COURSE THEY ARE! We head across the street to HEB. Guess what? They are OUT OF TABLECLOTHS. I am literally dragging the girls around muttering curse words under my breath. I make an executive decision to screw the tablecloths. We arrive to school 20 minutes late. Again. Ugh.
After I drop them off I feel guilty for not having what I was assigned to so I stop at Kroger. Voila...they have them. I am now only 10 minutes late for work.
Once I get to work, I start working on trying to schedule appointments, answering emails, reading diabetes research and blogs...the usual. At 9:47, I look at the clock. I need to leave by 10:10 to get to the school on time. The party starts at 10:30. Abby was so excited to have me in class!
About five minutes later, the commotion starts outside. A young teenager had been put in handcuffs for threatening to hit his mom. As a result, the mom and dad are standing outside of my window screaming all sorts of obscenities at each other. Their toddler keeps dangerously close to the busy street. I am having multiple heart attacks at this point watching the little girl. What seemed like five minutes was MUCH longer and when I glanced at my screen, I saw the clock. 10:19. HOLY CRAP!
I RAN to my car. I called the room parent. I called the school. Matt called me. He had flown his first aircraft...something he has been working towards forever. I was SO happy for him. He asks what I'm doing and I launch into the whole tirade of my day. I keep saying that I feel like a failure. I can't even get frigging tablecloths to school. Ugh.
Lucky for me, when I finally pull into the school at 10:36, the entire school is on the lawn. FIRE DRILL! They hadn't started the party yet due to a fire drill. I was scrambling trying to get out of the car and get everything together. I ran to Abby's class in all of my frustration and threw the door open. There, right in front of me, is a sign that says, "Children need presence and not presents." Not one minute later, my beautiful, crazy, smiling little redhead jumps into my arms with excitement! "Mommy, you're here!"
Ahhhh. How I love these little messages I receive. I spent all morning fretting over silly tablecloths when all my baby wants is my presence. Stupid me. Silly me. What a waste of negative energy. We had a great party. Now I need to get off of here and pack to go see my love!! Yay!