Friday, December 13, 2013

The Critic...

A few days ago, I walked into my bathroom to shower. I came out of the closet and there she worst critic. She was saying things like, "Wow. Your tummy is a perfect little pooch. Your legs are a little jiggly and used to be so tight. You're so out of proportion now. Look at those dark circles under your eyes."

Right around the same time that I was getting this absolute beating of the soul, my husband texted me and said, "I am amazed by your beauty." It was at that moment that it hit me...women are so hard on themselves.

I turned to look at my worst critic and I vowed to do everything in my power to make her go away. I stared at her and I just wanted to cry. I was staring back at myself.

Where did this woman come from? I have always been confident. I have always been okay with my body. Why do I feel the need to be so perfect? I won't wear my clothes if you can see the tiniest imperfection in them. I try to wear very loose shirts so that you can't see my tummy. This same tummy that has this little pooch because it was busy growing three beautiful so recently that I still have the "seam" running down the center of where he sat for nine months.

The dark circles because I am up making sure my daughter is okay to make it through the night with her blood sugars.

My jiggly legs because I am trying to juggle a full time job, a new baby, two diseases, and a family...and still figuring out when to squeeze the gym in there.

I will get there again. I will stop my critic from slamming me. I will take my time and enjoy my life while I am still adjusting.

I truly believe in positive energy and the power of positive thoughts. I work hard every day to try to change my way of thinking. You get back from the universe what you give to it. The same goes for yourself. I'm still learning to accept me for me. Work in progress.

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